All Gunns Blazing

Louisa Tuck (a.k.a. Crystal Gunns) is seen in the center with a pair of friends.

When I was in kindergarten, I had a huge crush on one of my class’s safety patrols. Being only the tender age of five, I really wasn’t sure why I liked her, but I had a difficult time not thinking about her. By the time that I was in first grade, I had, alas, forgotten about her and my interests moved to a classmate who would sit in her chair in a manner that should have been illegal.

Again, I had no idea why I enjoyed looking at her ass sticking out through the back of the chair, but some part of me knew that it was bad and that bad was good.

One thing that I didn’t have, though, was a teacher’s aide who was nasty (in a good way, of course). Today I work in a building with a teacher’s aide who looks like she could get a little nasty from time to time, but I doubt that her husband would appreciate it.

A teacher’s aide in a New Jersey school district was openly nasty, and it has recently helped to get her in the crosshairs of the community’s morality police because it was discovered that she used to work in the porn industry (she has reportedly been retired since 2003).

Dean Schabner of ABC News reports:

An aide at a New Jersey elementary school and a local YMCA is described by one parent as “an excellent role model,” but others say someone who played the roles the woman has shouldn't be working with young children.

It turns out that Louisa Tuck, a cafeteria and playground aide at D’Ippolito Elementary School in Vineland, N.J., used to be an adult film star who went by the name of Crystal Gunns.

She was hired as a part-time aide in June, but school officials learned about her past only recently.

When district officials found out, according to ABC News Philadelphia affiliate WPVI-TV, they talked to their lawyers about what they could do but they were told they didn’t have any cause to fire her.

[…]

“I understand it’s her personal life, but I don’t feel someone with that background should be working with young children at all,” preschool teacher Maria Martin, who has children at the school, told WPVI-TV.

So, let’s sum this up: A woman gets out of the porn business five years ago and attempts to make an honest living doing something more respectable, only to discover that some people would sooner have her fired—and on the unemployment line collecting handouts from the government—than have an ex-porn star babysitting kids in a cafeteria and on the playground (you know, since cafeteria aides and playground aides are such daily influences on kids).

Tuck got out of the business and now she’s making a few bucks doing something other than getting drenched with semen. If we’re going to crucify her for that, I have two demands that need to be met:

(1.) I want to know the name(s) of who discovered Tuck’s past and if they work for the district, I demand that their employment status be questioned, too. After all, if we’re making the determination that porn is evil, it means that someone—somewhere—discovered that Tuck was a porn star by looking at something pornographic (otherwise they wouldn’t have known about it). Whether it was a photo of her or a movie with her in it, there had to be an initial witness to her pornographic past. Who are they? Name them and let’s put them on public trial, too. It’s only fair.

(2.) I demand a full investigation into the past sexual behavior and current sexual practices of teacher Maria Martin. If we’ve determined that the perpetration of certain sex acts can make a person unsuitable for a position in a public school, it’s only proper that Ms. Martin’s purity—or possible lack thereof—is brought to light.

What happens if it’s discovered that Ms. Martin has engaged in questionable sexual behavior? Wouldn’t that be detrimental to the students in her class and in the school as a whole? Don’t parents have the right to know?

Indeed, if people are going to play the Joe McCarthy Game, they’re going to have to brace themselves for the possibility that there aren’t always get-out-of-jail-free cards.

Reference

Schabner, Dean. “School Aide’s Porn Past Angers Parents.” ABC News. 23 Nov. 2008.

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